What is Languishing?

Languishing, what actually is it?

Imagine waking up everyday and feeling like you’re stuck in neutral—neither moving forward nor backward. You’re not in crisis, but you’re not thriving either. Maybe you don’t feel positive about your life, you feel stuck or stagnant, you may not really feel like yourself anymore and lack the same joy you once had.

You may be Languishing, and it affects as much as 20% of Australians.

Languishing is often described as feeling “meh”. You don’t feel quite right, but you can’t easily pinpoint what it is that is bothering you. And while you might feel like it isn’t bad enough to take action, we at Be Well Co think it is time that changes.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, Organisational Psychologist Adam Grant wrote a piece on Languishing in the New York Times, describing it as the feeling of ‘blah’ and named it as the neglected middle child of mental health.

That article was the most read article of the NYT in 2021, which is perhaps a sign that languishers are looking to be seen.

Languishing describes people who do not experience positive states of mental health, or mental wellbeing. It’s different from experiencing mental illness like anxiety or depression, It is an experience that many of us struggle with in silence as we don’t have the language to describe it and/or wrongly label it as something like depression. Read more on Languishing vs Depression here.

‘Symptoms’ of Languishing

So, how do you know if you’re languishing? There are a bunch of evidence-based ‘symptoms’, which our team summarised in a large collaborative international study. The image below lists them. Each domain is not only a symptom, but also an actionable area for change.

This said, we know that a map like the above is a bit tricky to interpret, particularly as some of the names are a bit science-y.

These symptoms work together to drive your experience of languishing. This looks different for everyone, but you may think about something like:

1. You feel stagnated

Ever feel like you’re just treading water, not really going anywhere? That’s the vibe! You might feel stuck in a rut, like you’re on a hamster wheel, just going through the motions without any real progress.

2. You experience increased indifference
Things that used to spark joy—like your favourite dessert, a new season of a show, or even your job —might not excite you anymore. It’s like your enthusiasm dial has been turned down from 8 to 4. You are still having it, but it is not the same as before.

3. You lack the drive you used to have
You know those days when you can’t be bothered doing anything productive. You don’t want to set new goals. You aren’t looking for new experiences or ways to develop yourself. Like that, but then all day every day.

4. Emotional Flatness
Instead of feeling a wonderful ups and downs of life you used to, it now feels more like a flat ride. You’re not feeling super down, but you’re also not really feeling great. It’s like watching a movie with the sound off—just a bit dull.

5. Reduced Engagement
Social gatherings might start to feel like a chore rather than a joy, even with your best friends and with activities you used to love. You could find yourself saying “no” to plans more often, preferring to stay in doomscrolling instead of hanging out with friends.

6. Difficulty seeing things through
Focusing on tasks can feel like trying to read a book while someone is blasting music in the background. You might find your mind wandering a lot, making it hard to get things done.

7. Low Energy Levels
It’s like you’ve got a phone with a low battery—just not enough juice to keep going! You might feel physically okay, you may be as fit as you have ever been, but mentally, you’re running on empty.

8. Lacking direction forward
You know when you’re staring at a blank page, not sure what to, like your mind is filled with fog. That’s languishing.

As we said, it looks different for many of us, depending on which of the ‘symptoms’ above work together for you. Feel free to shoot a comment below if you have a different experience you feel captures it better for you.

Why Does It Matter?

Our day to day lives are negatively impacted, and our relationships, and productivity are impaired, over and above that of other common problems like depression, anxiety and burnout.

1. Languishing is a Red Flag!

Languishing can be like that little warning light on your car dashboard. It doesn’t mean you’re broken down on the side of the road, but it’s a sign that something’s off. If you don’t address it, you might end up feeling more down later down the line, like slipping into a funk or even full-blown depression. Catching it early means you can take action before it spirals. People who are Languishing are between 2 to 8 (!) times more likely to experience a mental illness in the future, highlighting the importance of taking languishing seriously. You pick what you care about more: fixing your struggle now or preventing it from becoming even worse in the future.

2. Languishing lowers your Quality of Life

When you’re languishing, life can feel like you’re stuck. You might miss out on the joy of little things—like a sunny day or a good cup of coffee—because you’re just not feeling it. And let’s be real, who wants to live life in grayscale when there’s a whole rainbow out there? When we are languishing, we are suffering. We may tell ourselves it is normal, but it shouldn’t be. Do the Am-I-a-good-friend-to-myself-check: ask yourself if you would want your loved ones, your best friend, your kid to feel like this for a long period of time. If you say no, you shouldn’t want this for yourself either.

3. You will hurt your relationships

Feeling “meh” can make you want to withdraw from friends and family. It happens slowly over time. You might skip out on hangouts or just not feel like chatting when you do hang out, which can leave you feeling even more alone. It’s like trying to fill a balloon with air—it just doesn’t work if you’re not connected to the pump (aka your friends)!

4. Your work or study will suffer
If you’re feeling uninspired, it’s tough to bring your A-game at work or school. You might find yourself zoning out during meetings or just going through the motions, which can affect your performance and relationships with coworkers. And who wants to feel like they’re just clocking in and out? Most of us don’t’ even if we sometimes joke about it. Work for many of us actively contributes to our wellbeing, and languishing makes it much harder for us to enjoy our time with colleagues.

Awareness is Key
Recognising that languishing is a thing helps everyone get more real about mental health. It opens up conversations, encourages people to share their feelings, and makes it easier to seek help when they need it. It’s all about breaking down those walls and saying, “Hey, we all have our ups and downs!”. The more we talk about it the better, and that starts by naming the big silently suffering elephant in the room: Languishing.

And that’s when we can start to make positive change. When you notice you’re languishing, it can spark some self-reflection. You might start thinking about what truly makes you happy or what changes you want to make in your life. It’s a nudge to take action, shake things up a bit and rediscover what lights you up!

If you resonate with some of the signs of Languishing, you’re not alone, and luckily there is plenty of tools out there to help solve the problem of languishing. Our blogs summarise some evidence-based ways to combat languishing and live well, as well as some of the resources we helped created.

Stuck In Neutral: Languishing and it’s impact on Australia

Researchers at Be Well Co, together with collaborators at leading research institutes in Australia, have been collecting mental health and wellbeing data from a range of workplace and community samples for over 5 years. We have summarised the key results from this study of more than 16,000 Australian adults. Visit our Languishing landing page to download the report.

For those in need of mental wellbeing support, you can also find our comprehensive guide summarising evidence-based approaches to improving mental wellbeing, written for Beyond Blue. To see our most commonly asked questions, visit our FAQs page.